Sunday, 16 August 2015

Confessions of a broad minded woman- V

I value every individual's idea and I'm not over protective.

What we mean by this is totally contradictory to the literal meaning that you understand out of it. We definitely do value individual ideas and space. In fact, we fight for it and can't tolerate the personal space being invaded by anyone. Not just our personal space, but anyone's personal space. You can find us with an armor and sword to jump and defend everyone’s personal space.

Every individual is entitled to their opinion and ideas. They have the right to make mistakes, fall down and learn from them. It’s not anyone’s duty to go and protect others. Everyone needs a shade and not a second shadow. The mistakes might be costly and the scar might be deep. But it is an individual’s choice and their experience. Jumping and taking a bullet every time is not going to let the other person learn at all.

What an individualistic idealist thought! Now, let that someone or other one be your significant someone- your younger sibling, a close friend, or your child. Would you sit back and let them go and fall down? Or will you rush and stop them before they fall?

Logical answer: Tell the pros and cons and let them decide for themselves. After all, it’s their life and they are a separate identity from you.

Emotional answer: No way. I can’t see them getting hurt. Let me save the pain and protect them from the evil clutches of the world. They will learn from other’s experience or when they are ready for it.

Confession: My brain keeps blocking me from making a face and stopping them. My heart lurches forward imagining all the worst case scenarios. I pretend that I’m totally cool outside not showing the inner turmoil. I silently vow myself that any minute they fall down, I will rush and pull them up and give a ‘told-you-so’ look. That way, I can ensure that next time they will listen to my ideas and I can protect them.

The beauty of personal space, individual identity and, self-experience are that, it is applicable at individual level. They work with the extended social circle and society too. But when it comes to the closely knit emotional circle, logic falters and over-protectiveness overtakes. And, it takes tremendous effort to keep it in check and not go paranoid about the significant people’s pain.

No comments:

Post a Comment