Saturday, 4 July 2015

Confessions of a broad minded woman- IV

I am like the calm waters; do I get neither excited nor agitated!

We could be describing Tsunami as well: a small wave that touches the tip of the nearby building. Under the calm and clear water is the tectonic plate which dangerously vibrates now and then. A wise girl is not one who covers up emotions but who truly knows to manage them. We hardly do that.

A cute guy looks at us- we instantly beam. The crush whom we had been stalking on social media drops a friend request- we fist pump in air. Birthday surprises- Mentally we pole vault thrice. New dress shopping- We are jumping and clapping hands in glee. We get super excited for all these. But what you see outside is the calm demeanor that gives nothing away about what is going on inside.

That silly comment about our look- We want to slap. That opinion on sleeping late- We want to make you sleep forever. Calling us feminist- we want to thrash your skull into the nearby slab. But the ozone layer between the thought and action is our sanity. The agitation and irritation know no bounds in these cases. Sometimes it’s easy peasy to handle excitement and hide that hideous goofy grin. But ripping that idiotic head is a problem. At least there will be the urge to lash out with word-whip.

Only our pillows face the real us. Cuddling with them when happy, punching it in anger or crying into it whole night- it never questions. That’s how we are fresh as a daisy next morning to face the world like a diva.

What bothers is most of the times; we are not managing emotions but just concealing them. That is not real broad-mindedness. That is a façade. But sometimes to practice to manage emotions we need the façade. Ten times we try, eleventh time it becomes our habit. There goes a saying,

“However you feel inside, get up; dress up; show up!”

That’s the mantra in which we operate. It’s not that we don’t want the world to know how sensitive we are. It’s just that we want the world to look at us the way we want them to. Not the giggling, jumping girl; but the broad-minded, forward thinking, self-sustained woman.

But yes! Inside we are the silly girls who ogle at donuts; chant our crush name 100 times a day; adore ‘strawberry girl’ and get annoyed when the Popsicle melts and runs down the arm. The waters are always calm and clear. Yet, there is a whirlpool that could zoom out anytime!

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