Disclaimer: This series of article is a real-life reflection of what’s happening around. Resemblance of any character is purely INTENTIONAL and is recommended to be taken with a pinch of salt and good humor.
I am not possessive
A so called broad minded girl’s first few words in a relationship. “Whew. Possessiveness is for fools. I will give my man the space he wants and will demand the same too.” What she is trying to tell you here is that she doesn’t mind her guy bird watching other girls when they are out. What the man reads: That’s an open ticket to stray. Not that I will stray. But if some rare opportunity comes my way, I don’t have to shy away or feel guilty.
Nothing wrong in what the guy reads. Because, that’s what a girl literally tells him. Unfortunately even she doesn’t know the meaning of what she spoke.
A friend of mine told the same to her guy with whom she had open relationship. One, since it being open relationship, there were no big binders. Two, she always portrayed herself as the most broad-minded, forward thinking woman and kept repeating, “I don’t understand the meaning of possessiveness. It is just a glossy word for insecurity.” Unfortunately her guy met another girl and had a fling with her. He did not go back on his relationship with my friend or let this fling affect the relationship. It was the same as ever. But my friend couldn’t take it up. She felt heartbroken. She felt her place was replaced in his life. She wasn’t possessive. But something pricked her.
When we met for a coffee, this is what she told: “Sruthi, I was stupid. I blew it all in the name of possessiveness. Now I can’t react to him because I was the one who gave him open ticket. Yet I can’t take this too. This is so damn bothering me. How could it happen when I am there? It is just not fair.”
Not just my friend. Many of us, in the name of sounding uber cool or acting matured, royally mess up this part. Expecting your partner to stay with you is not possessive. It is called EXCLUSIVITY. Regardless of marriage or open relationship, exclusivity matters. The name you give to it might change. But the flavor is the same. My man is my man. Sharing is not caring here.
Men, beware next time you hear: I am not possessive. Girls, think a little before you tell “Possessiveness is for fools”. It is okay if you want your guy only for yourself. Let your broad-mind mask not make you put your feet in your mouth.