Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Confessions of Broad Minded Woman- III

Mom, stop hovering! I can handle myself.
A white lie through the teeth. Trust me! Boy trouble, bad boss, shitty work day- we got them all nailed. Immaculately self-dependent and stable from outside. Yet, inside there is always a turmoil that runs. Can I handle this anymore? Is my decision right? What if I screw up all those I have made so far? Millions of questions.

A modern woman is always pictured as someone who, when fallen down would rise, brush off the dirt from elbow and say, “hey cool, that happens! So where do we go next?” Not a hint of embarrassment or weakness. A broad minded or strong willed women is not one who doesn’t have weakness-that’s mythical- but one who can identify those moments of weakness.

Most of the times this is not the case in man-woman relationships. We are ready to face those troubles. But a cold shoulder from mom: that freaks the hell out of us! I only want solitude (read, not independence- for nobody holds my freedom) to the extent where I am trusted and respected by my family and not to the extent where my parents don’t give a damn about my decisions and whereabouts.
That’s not independence. That is ignorance. My exam dates, guidance in financial decisions, stuffing that lunch pack in the bag- I love all those. I crave for all those. It is not weakness. It is affection. I don’t want to be a Tarzan in the jungle albeit having every kith and kin.

This idea doesn’t confine to parents alone. That over bossy aunty who is more interested in my marriage than her daughter’s, the uncle who seems to know my career better than myself, everyone of these.

I complain, I’m annoyed, I’m even rude at times- but that’s what relationships are all about. Not a bed of roses all the time. We fight, we argue, we hate, and yet we love too. Sometimes, it is the attention, other times, it is the hidden care and affection. We do make a fuss about it all the time!

I’m a broad minded girl not out of chance. It was the conscious choice you parents made while nurturing me. So yeah, with a certain predetermined notion I ward off you and your care. But honestly, I crave for it and I love it when I get even when I’m being an ass!

Monday, 22 June 2015

Confessions of a broad minded woman- II

I'm not Jealous

Exclusivity is good, but not possessiveness. In line with the same comes jealousy. That friend of yours who has long hair, or the other female who has brains more than wonder - won't an earth quake eat them up?

Listen men, it’s not obscene stupidity. Most of the time you wouldn't even know that we are jealous. Because, like I said, we are good in hiding.

She is a great girl. I admire how she is so brainy and beautiful at the same time. She manages everything so well. Her witty quotes definitely need a standing ovation. But what makes her look like monster is your reaction.

Your admiration is enough to spark that wild fire of envy. What makes it spread is your open comment on how good she is and where we fail. You wouldn't be complaining but making a mere observation.
Still, she is winning over the areas we can't fathom to think about. Imagine being on fire all the time and it gets fuelled from time to time. Yet you can't show you are burning because you are super cool. How does that sound? Bad, right?

On outerset it will sound funny but it is a terrible feeling to go through. Jealousy is a product of comparison and imbibed insecurity. This feeling is hard-wired in women’s brain. Have you wondered why women are more competitive and always want to be a forerunner? Jealousy in play- but in positive way.

Most of the Indian households are financially stable and have an own house because of jealousy. Men, be grateful that your lady is jealous. It makes you worth the fight and definitely enhances your life style too.

Women, because we agree that it’s hard-wired, don’t go over the board and creep him out. Keep the jealous in check and know that your man means no harm when he appreciated the other woman.

Saturday, 20 June 2015

Confessions of a broad minded woman- I

Disclaimer: This series of article is a real-life reflection of what’s happening around. Resemblance of any character is purely INTENTIONAL and is recommended to be taken with a pinch of salt and good humor.

I am not possessive
 A so called broad minded girl’s first few words in a relationship. “Whew. Possessiveness is for fools. I will give my man the space he wants and will demand the same too.” What she is trying to tell you here is that she doesn’t mind her guy bird watching other girls when they are out. What the man reads: That’s an open ticket to stray. Not that I will stray. But if some rare opportunity comes my way, I don’t have to shy away or feel guilty.

Nothing wrong in what the guy reads. Because, that’s what a girl literally tells him. Unfortunately even she doesn’t know the meaning of what she spoke.

A friend of mine told the same to her guy with whom she had open relationship. One, since it being open relationship, there were no big binders. Two, she always portrayed herself as the most broad-minded, forward thinking woman and kept repeating, “I don’t understand the meaning of possessiveness. It is just a glossy word for insecurity.” Unfortunately her guy met another girl and had a fling with her. He did not go back on his relationship with my friend or let this fling affect the relationship. It was the same as ever. But my friend couldn’t take it up. She felt heartbroken. She felt her place was replaced in his life. She wasn’t possessive. But something pricked her.

When we met for a coffee, this is what she told: “Sruthi, I was stupid. I blew it all in the name of possessiveness. Now I can’t react to him because I was the one who gave him open ticket. Yet I can’t take this too. This is so damn bothering me. How could it happen when I am there? It is just not fair.”

Not just my friend. Many of us, in the name of sounding uber cool or acting matured, royally mess up this part. Expecting your partner to stay with you is not possessive. It is called EXCLUSIVITY. Regardless of marriage or open relationship, exclusivity matters. The name you give to it might change. But the flavor is the same. My man is my man. Sharing is not caring here.

Men, beware next time you hear: I am not possessive. Girls, think a little before you tell “Possessiveness is for fools”. It is okay if you want your guy only for yourself. Let your broad-mind mask not make you put your feet in your mouth.