Tuesday, 31 March 2015

My Choice- My view-An Apology Letter

Before you jump into the conclusion that this is either a howler at Deepika Padukone or hailing her as the epitome of feminism, let me tell you all, this is just my reaction to all the hulla-bulla going around.
As far as I understood, the video just talks about how its choice of a woman to lead her life the way she wants. Yes, there are a few points I don’t agree with. A few points even startled me. I don’t completely buy the school of thoughts in the video.

But, that’s the whole idea of the video! I don’t have to agree with it. ITS MY CHOICE. What bothers me is the reaction to this video. My pure Indian brothers and holy sisters seem to be offended by this video at large and are being judgmental. My dear fellow citizens, where were you all when women were being objectified? You seem to be pretty fine to ogle at others’ spouse or even push it to extra-marital affair, but can’t accept it when it is told open in the light?

It is neither promoting infidelity nor is it propagating illicit sexual encounters. It is alarming to see my dear facebook friends calling names and using filthy language for the video. Where are your manners? Your tolerance level is disappointing! Acceptance is undue expectation. Can’t we tolerate it?
Yes, it is feminism gone crazy! A little hypocrite too! By all means, feel free to rape a woman because of her dressing. Be ready to moral police her for demeaning behavior. But get ready to handle that disrespectful stares and cocky behavior from women. If it’s your choice to react the way you want, then it’s our choice to treat you the way we want!

A final word: Protest; condemn; even castigate; ITS YOUR CHOICE! My only request is, do it with dignity! Your filthy language just shows what you have in store to give the world! I personally don’t want such Men/Women in my friend list. I shall unfriend them. Sorry, we don’t gel well!

Tuesday, 17 March 2015


A gripping pain that sears through
Like constricting sky to a palmful
Blood turning into steel to harden
Letting not the heart take pain or hurt

Cold sweat chilling the spine
Cold shoulder that caused this pain
Sleep my little baby, its not right time yet
Sleep my little baby, its not right time yet

Biting back the groans and cries
Tossing in writhe is all I can do
Pain is not mine to suffer along
But the wordless ache of a life

Nobody is to be blamed and chastised
Nobody is to be condemned and killed
Sleep my little baby, its not right time yet
Sleep my little baby, its not right time yet

World is evil and momma is chicken
You deserve a king's throne not a thorn
Be assured this is the best shield for you
Deflecting ill name and illegitimate tag

Next time when you come, I'll be ready
You won't be flushed down the gutter
Sleep my little baby, its not right time yet
Sleep my little baby, its not right time yet

Profoundly sad I am, but guilty not
Profanity I might deserve some
Pressure tugs deep in my belly
As you sluggishly slip away

I promise I will be a better mom
Strong and stronger just for you
Until then....
Sleep my little baby, its not right time yet
Sleep my little baby, its not right time yet

Sunday, 15 March 2015

Yardstick of Love!

“ஓர் அடையும் உருகாத வெண்ணையும் உனக்காக நான் நோற்றேன். ஒரு நாளும் என் கணவன் பிரியாது இருக்கணுமே”

“Thee, I feast you with delicacies and butter. Endow my husband with longevity and health!”

Those are the hymns that we recite during the காரடையான் நோன்பு (“Karadaiyan Nombu”) fast. An age old ritual that runs deep in our culture, where the pious married women pray for the good health of their husband and damsels for their future husband, and be on fast for the entire day until pooja. This tradition comes from an interesting story where Savithri wittily wins over Lord of Death and bring her husband back to life. Oldies would say it is the epitome of chastity and devotion to husband. But as a modern day girl, this ritual has a totally different meaning to me. Before you read further, let me tell you: this ritual is one that I hold so close to my heart.

By starving myself or tying a yellow thread in my neck, I don’t prove my devotion to husband (Read “future husband”). Well, I am not trying to please some sadist deity who would be appeased by my hunger. But, I condition myself to shower that unconditional love on my man no matter what. I would go to any extreme and fight against the world to keep my man safe. That’s what Savithri did. The part I love the most is, she didn’t win by water works or sympathy. Sheer brilliance and wit made sure her husband comes back to life. Now, that’s a modern woman! She didn’t trade her life to bring him back alive. She didn’t sacrifice something awful to bring him back. But she went to the end of the world and faced Death himself to trick him and bring back her love. I am pretty confident that any day I could do the same too. Intelligence talk, bring it on! Sentiments and dam of tears, oh huh!

To me, Savithri is not the symbol of celibacy or chastity. She is the symbol of undeterred commitment and unfailing love. Now, that’s what every man deserves! A woman whom he can count to save his back and be strong for both during dark times. Not a maiden in distress who needs rescuing at every turn. A self-sufficient woman, who knows she is good on her own but still, wants her man around to make her life meaningful. A woman who can nudge and push him to be better and pat and soothe him in pain.

I grew up with this Savithri picture in mind. If chastity is your yardstick, I might measure only in millimeters. But if it’s being a headstrong woman with unconditional love is you yardstick, I might outgrow it.

So yeah, I didn’t starve myself for this Karadaiyan Nombu. I didn’t tie a holy sari. But yeah, I did tie the yellow thread and pray. Solemnly took my vows in the name of Savithri to be there for my husband, no matter what. To be strong enough for both. To protect him and help him grow in times of need. To take care of his health. To love him unconditionally. To bring him back from death and try my best. To never let go of him. To keep up my faith.