Wednesday, 3 September 2014

The taboo called “Marriage”- A loud musing!

This blog is a reflection of my personal experience in the past few days. Reflection of a simple 23 year old girl with hopes and ambition at heart. The entire blog is opinionated and personal. Readers are requested not to get agitated or offended for the views present in the blog.

In India, the moment your degree is complete, the first question a boy faces is, “So.. Landed in a job?” if a girl, then the question is, “So.. When are the wedding bells?” Even before she realizes who she is and what she wants in life, social pressure to get married starts. It gets worse with every adding year. Let us stop for a minute here and analyse what exactly are we trying to, or supposed to be doing with our life!
You are born and you grow up. You attend school and learn the skills for battling in life. You reach college and choose a course (mostly, parents’ or friends’ choice) based on which you can set your career. You work for a living, or try fulfilling your ambition and eventually make a mark for yourself in some possible way. This is professional life!

Personally, your body grows and so does your brain. You create a social life and maintain several types of relationships: Relatives, cousins, siblings, friends, enemies and etc. With the exposure and learning you get, you try finding yourself and the purpose for this life. During this long life, you find a match for yourself to live with. Who can possibly make your life journey interesting and worth travelling. Someone to grow old with.
This last part is where I find problem. Like said above, it is growing old with someone. Finding the bond or getting into a relationship is not a task to be done on your to-do list! Humans need a companion in some or other form of relationship to sustain and grow in this world. But why make it an equation and set boundary for it?

A guy’s bank balance and currently drawn salary package is not the pre-requisite to spend the rest of the life with him. Neither does his glossy car or lavish house make him eligible to share my room till our last breath. Nor his parents’ qualification and his qualification make him the right choice to live with. Okay, these things matter too! I am not a go-and-fall-in-love-blind type. But where is the compatibility quotient here?

Just by hearing the above said features, how do I decide if he is my soul-mate? I am not saying that falling in love is enough to marry someone. I can like a boy. He can make me happy. But will it last in the long run? Are we compatible enough? Just because you love someone, doesn't mean that you have to get married to them. Does it? Loving someone definitely makes them a potential person with whom you can tolerate the life. Yet.. Compatibility matters..  Opposite poles or similar poles, attraction isn't enough for a healthy relationship. Be it physical attraction or intellectual attraction or money attraction.

I honestly don’t know how to find the compatibility quotient with a man. Like I said, I am still understanding myself. Unless I have a clear answer for myself, how can I promise someone that this is what I am? Getting settled isn’t the purpose of life. A comfortable house, a few kids to rise and a doting husband can be the perfect life for many women. Great! Please go for it, and be happy in your heaven. But why force a girl with a different opinion to settle for the same life?

I am ambitious! I have dreams! I want to live them! During this journey, if I find my prince, I don’t mind getting married even the very next day. But for the sake of getting settled or growing old, I don’t want to be with someone. Neither is there any obligation to be with someone because I like him.

This blog is more of a self-assurance activity, where I don’t want to lose the connectivity with myself given the pressure I get from loved ones around me. A loud musing! Whenever I feel I lose the grip over myself and get caught in the whirlpool, this blog shall remind that I am a free spirit, and shall follow only what my heart says! 

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