Friday, 27 July 2018

Motherhood is guilt

C-section, Normal or epidural
Water broke, contraction or inducing
Full term, pre term or just a day
It's my fault: I'm a guilty mom

Breastfed, bottle-fed or formula-fed
Under-fed, over-fed or no feed
Poor latch, cluster feed or skipped feed
It's my fault: I'm a guilty mom

Awake, asleep or playful
Gassy, burpy or farty
Cranky, smiling or sombre
It's my fault: I'm a guilty mom

Pee, poop or posset
Cough, sneeze or hiccup
Scratch, rash or hair fall
It's my fault: I'm a guilty mom

Caps, socks or mittens
Onesies, rompers or tees
Sweater, scarf or shoes
It's my fault: I'm a guilty mom

Hurt reveals love
Time reveals truth
Society reveals standard
So, motherhood is guilt!

Thursday, 10 November 2016

Chronicles of a Bride-II

All of a sudden I’m under limelight and every step of mine is the talk of the bridal town. Suddenly, my life has become more interesting to the people around me. Every step of mine is not just watched but also commented upon. As much as I enjoy being the centre of attention, opinions are something that doesn’t float my boat.

Starting from nail color to advantages of taking i-pills, all good intended and ill-intended people have an opinion about the bride’s life. Icing in the cake: the bride’s opinion always stands null and void. No matter how logical it is.

From beauty tips to how to run a home, everyone walks around with a ‘Bride 101 guide’. Everyone feels that their version is the best and they make absolute sense. For example, the orthodox but skilled tailor says padded blouse will bring disgrace to in-law’s family and hence to be avoided. The good natured bride is expected to nod her head in understanding, in fact, smack her head and say ‘How did I forget this rule?”

Grandma’s cousin who is older than the oldest tortoise calls up and tells, “Don’t eat bitter gourd before wedding because it will make the relationship bitter.” *Eye Rolling* Neighbor uncle’s brother’s son’s friend who is a skin doctor living in the USA is of the opinion that “Walking in the Sun will tan bride’s skin.” *Sun can you scorch me to ashes?*

Like I said, it’s good that so many experienced people want to share their experiences and guide the bride to a smoother relationship. But when will the bride build her unique relationship? No two relationships are the same. What was true for someone need not even happen in another’s life. Why can’t all these people understand this basic principle? Why can’t they stow their opinions in their purse and let the bride be free?

Dear bride, take the ‘pi’ value out of Opinions. You’ll have just onions left. Your life; your relationship; your opinions! Oops, He matters too! 

Monday, 31 October 2016

Chronicles of a Bride- I

Do you remember your first job? How excited you were to land in it? The thrill of doing something “Real”?  The relief that you have a job finally? Well, that’s how it feels when wedding gets settled too. Doesn’t matter if it’s a love marriage or an arranged marriage.

What’s so different between the first job and the wedding is that, you have no clue in the latter. This blog series is going to be an undiluted sarcastic view of the wedding world through the eyes of bride.
When you join a job, they give you training for tasks and then conduct an assessment at the end of the training. You have no such option in the wedding. You are assessed immediately and guess what, no training happens. There is not even a syllabus you could refer to.

We all are academically well qualified and are so fond of exams (at least in India). In Wedding, there’s no syllabus, no classes, no teaching, just straight exams- that too board exams. What more, you are expected to perform exemplary as your family respect depends on that. 

If at all, you scourge some tips from grandmas and moms, they are all Out-of-Syllabus for our exam. For example, grandma syllabus doesn’t warn you that having a funky mobile cover will fetch you 50 negative points. Or for that matter, making Maggi isn’t considered as cooking.

At a MNC, your appraisal is kept to yourself, or at least you get to know it first. As a bride, your appraisal score reaches you last with ten different versions. If only, there was a course in distance education to get Masters in Being a Bride, it would’ve done womankind a greater good. Had we also had tuition centre for bride-coaching, the seats would sell faster than a box-office movie.

Even with an impressive CV alias Matrimony profile, you can never be assured of having a hassle free transition from Happily-single/ In-a-relationship to Bride. End of the day, no matter how many miseries are bundled together, it’s a joy to behold. Having a new family, raising your own- all those childhood dreams coming true. Every bride has a different syllabus and a different exam to give. May be that’s why there’s no course in becoming a bride.

Have you faced any misery? Let me know in the comments..

Friday, 22 April 2016

10 things that happens when you fall in love!

It has been a dream to experience this and write about it. Falling in love is a beautiful feeling. Suddenly even the scorching summer feels like blossoming Spring. If you are in mid-twenties and get into a relationship for the first time, these things are bound to happen. Singles out there, you are warned.

  • Suddenly you are the talk of the town
People are suddenly interested in your life. From ‘Told-you-so’ comment to those nasty envious glances, people can’t stop raving about your love life. Sometimes there are a few who even come up and ask, “How did you nail it?”

  • Your personal time gets a whole new definition
Earlier personal time was either curling up with a book or watching a movie all by yourself. Now personal time is talking to your significant other or going out with them. Even your friends will complain how they get to see you very less.

  • It's “We” not “I”
Each time you talk to the love of your life, you have to consciously say ‘We’ and not ‘I’. You don’t want to give them an impression that you are self-centered right in the honeymoon phase.

  • Your imagination gets a face lift
Literally and figuratively. All those dreams with your love now gets a face and voice. Next time you dream, you know what the reaction will be. No more blank spaces in dreams.
  • You’re no longer available in the market

Your friends and acquaintances keep reminding you how you’re no longer eligible in the market and that you are taken. Hey, because I’m taken doesn’t mean I shouldn’t enjoy the beautiful sights around me.
  •  Pressure on looks

Earlier you might have dressed up in a comfy night pants and hung around the whole day.Now even the slightest freckle gets your attention to ensure you look the best for your love. If crush days were filled with anxiety on looks; new relationship is full of pressure on looks.

  • There’s no room for sadness
Like mentioned earlier, everything around you looks beautiful and nice. No more melancholy songs in playlist. Even if your favorite one is played, you just switch to next.

  • The sense of overwhelming

During a bus ride or over a mundane task you ponder how your life has changed or about to change because of the relationship. All of a sudden it’s overwhelming to realize that you have taken such a huge decision in life.

  • The sated smile when you hit the bed

Every night when you hit the bed, you know that there is someone out there who holds you special. Whom you can make smile and happy just by existing. And that mere thought puts a sated smile on your lips before you slip into dreams.

Thursday, 31 March 2016

Letters to My Prince Charming- IV

Hey Prince,

Do you know what the most amazing part of a dream is? It's dreaming. Conjuring different ideas and possibilities on how things will be. Picking that favorite color for wedding dress, food menu, dance practice, days together, what not?!

Do you know what the worst part of a dream is? It's living the dream. There's every chance that tables will turn. Dreams might become nightmares. Even if it is a dream come true life, there’s no longer the charm of dreaming. You can’t conjure ideas anymore. You can only think of possibilities. The infinity of dreams tends to get restricted.

That's why many fear to dream. They don't want their hopes to turn into a pile of burden at the back. At some unfortunate times, it does change colors. At other times, a dream is the best way to escape reality. It feels that the fantasy world is much better than the real world.

But my dear love, I'm not scared to dream. I'm building our meets, giggles, and life in my heart. Because the whole point of dreaming is to live it. There will be a day when the reality is better than dream. The real moments perfect beyond imagination.

When I have a warrior on his way to live my dreams, there's no question of fear. There's just living life King-size with you. Yeah, certain things might not go as per my imagination. But they are just aesthetics. Minor details of triviality.

My dream is you. Being at your side. And I have no fear in stepping up to the place. The rest can just go with the wind through the window.

Waiting to live beyond the dreams..